Addict: “Dreams and ambitions? Get out of here!”

dj Addict my first gig
If someone survived numerable obstacles and is still alive and kicking, it's Ruud Hansen aka DJ Addict. Check his first gig story!

This post is also available in: Nederlands (Dutch)

In 2016 I had a chat with the challenged-through-life-but still-going-strong Ruud Hansen a.k.a. Dutch producer and DJ Addict. “With starting a new life, that old dream reared its head: I still wanted to be a DJ.”

“The first time I looked at the videotapes of Thunderdome in 1996, I immediately knew what I wanted to become: DJ. I had just turned 16 and was already a gabber for a few years. I went to parties and used as many drugs as much as I possibly could. Dreams and ambitions? Get out of here!”

“That same year my mother gave me a set of turning tables and a mixer for Christmas. My first thought was: ‘Nice. But with what money will I buy records, since I need it for other stuff?” This related to my state at that time. At that moment I hadn’t been doing too well for a couple of years already. I moved constantly in between staying with one of my divorced parents, stayed out for weekends at a time and repeatedly did shit to get money. Pretty soon I realized that I had a problem: I needed a minimum of around 150 guilders (comparable to 150 euros nowadays, red.) a day to get that lovely white powder from Volendam. No, no cast, hehehe. In the end, I practically gave that set way, because I had planned to go backpacking in Australia for a year and start a new life.”

‘You will never get there’

“In 2008 DJ Addict was reborn. I was doing pretty good. After rehab in a couple of clinics, two moves and six attempts to start a new life, I wanted to start playing again. The only way to stand out was to record mixes and post them online. The reactions were diverse. Until someone said: ‘It would be better for you to quit. You will never get there’. No-one should say those words to me! Because I will do everything to prove you wrong.”


“With starting a new life, that old dream reared its head: I still wanted to be a DJ. And this time I was ready for it! I still was a fulltime gabber and I still was involved in music. All I needed was a catchy name. DJ Addict seemed perfectly appropriate. Everyone in The Netherlands already knew that I was a junkie. In 2006 I was clean and, together with my mother, had written a book about my cocaine-addiction. After publication I was regularly on national television to talk about this book and my life. So, since my past wasn’t a secret, why not?”

dj addict nu - Addict: "Dreams and ambitions? Get out of here!”

Best high

“My debut as a DJ was in 2010 at the event Hardcore Resistance in the venue P3 in Purmerend. I wasn’t programmed in the main area, because Mad Dog and Partyraiser played there, but damn, I was happy to get this opportunity. The area was half full, the sound was fat and many people I knew attended. The building was shaking – not because of the bass but because of my nerves. Crazy enough, after I came on steam, the set went pretty well. Of course I made a few beauty-errors and volume-‘oopses’. The positive response afterwards though, was the best high I had ever experienced in my life.”


“In between 2010 and 2013 I played a few more times at small events, but pretty soon I went downhill again. Too much partying led me right back to my old habits and I got hooked again in no time. In those days I often lost courage. Finding gigs had always been hard and it still was. So in 2013 I decided to quit: ‘I did the best I could’. Soon I was admitted to rehab again and I was at peace with it.”


“After my release from the clinic depression crept up. I had no hobby, I felt resistance towards the hardcore scene and I missed a passion. In that period, in 2014, I met my present wife. She took me to Freestyle Maniacs, an event by FreeParty. Oh, oh, I totally revived and immediately fell in love with freestyle. I started searching like crazy to find as much as I could of those nice, uplifting and banging tracks as I could in order to be able to put together a mix again. After that a ‘colleague’-addict provided me with the best advice ever: ‘Do what makes you happy. Why else did you get clean?’”

Resurrection 3.0

“This introduced my resurrection 3.0. The beginning. This is what I wanted! Consequently, I invested every euro that I had in myself. I bought new equipment, put a studio together, took a producing course and spent an incredible amount of time on practicing. Without productions of your own, you can forget about succeeding in the scene, so I fanatically started making bootlegs, mash-ups and my own tracks.”

100.000 plays

“And it paid off. In between 2014 and now I have played at over 50 great parties and festivals and released five tracks on several freestyle labels. In less than a year I achieved to have over 100.000 plays on Soundcloud and by now my tracks are played at events like Free Festival, Pussy Lounge and Tomorrowland.”

“I’m still not quite where want to be. I always give myself 110%, although I sometimes still get told that my music is totally shit. So what? In that case, I start all over again or just do what gets my blood running faster. The moral of this story is probably this: do you have the same dream? Go for it! Don’t let anything or anyone stop you and stay adamant. The journey towards fulfilling your dream often can be extremely frustrating, but you have to go through it. Also: enjoy every gig as if it’s your first!”

Share This Post

More To Explore